what are childhood memories and why do they matter?

 What’s something special you remember from your childhood? Was it a time you visited your friends or family? Was it when you lost your first tooth? Or maybe it was when you received a gift for your birthday? These may seem like simple memories, but your childhood memories can create a foundation for the rest of your life.

Let’s take a closer look at how we create childhood memories, how we can share those memories, and how those memories shape our lives.

What Are Childhood Memories?

The term "childhood memories" refers to the memories we form during childhood. Did you know that most adults can’t remember
much before they were 2-and-a-half years old? Researchers used to think it was because babies don’t have a fully developed memory, but recent studies suggest something else. There are 2 things that can affect how much of our childhood we remember, how we form our memories, and how we share our memories.

How We Form Memories

There are 2 types of long-term memory. Both play a part in the forming and remembering of our childhood memories. As a young child, the majority of our memories are implicit memories. But as we grow up, we start collecting more and more explicit memories. By the ages of 6 or 7 our memory becomes more developed and similar to an adult’s memory.

Implicit Memory

Have you ever found yourself singing the words to a song without even realizing it? Or maybe you’ve walked to a friend’s house without thinking about the directions? These are examples of when you’ve tapped into your unconscious memory, or your implicit memory.

An implicit memory is not about a specific time or place—it’s automatic and helps us perform previously learned tasks without thinking about it.

Explicit Memory

Have you ever made a to-do list? Or memorized facts for a test? Can you remember a favorite trip you’ve taken? These are examples of when you’ve used your conscious memory, or your explicit memory. Explicit memories are detailed and involve a time and place. When you think of an explicit memory, you are actively bringing it into your mind and recalling that information.

How We Share Memories

Once we’ve formed a memory, the best way to remember it is to talk about it! This retelling of the event reinforces it deeper into our memory. You can tell someone what happened, write about it in a journal, or even record yourself retelling the experience. Sharing our experience not only helps us remember better, but it can also help us process better. In fact, sometimes sharing something difficult can help you heal from the experience. By making a record of your experiences, you are helping yourself develop a better memory. But did you know that parents, grandparents, or guardians can also greatly affect how well a child saves a memory? Believe it or not, the way you speak to a child about an experience can make a big difference. There are 2 styles of talking with a young child, one that can help the child remember more vivid, detailed early memories, and another that might not be as helpful.

Elaborative Style

Encouraging a young child to talk about an event and elaborate on the details is the best way to help them remember their experience. This method is called elaborative style. Make sure to ask open-ended who, what, where, and when questions.

Here are examples of elaborative style questions:

• “What did you like most about our trip?"
• "What about the boat ride did you like?"
• "What else did you like?"
• "Tell me more!”

Repetitive Style

In contrast, when we ask questions with yes-or-no or one-word answers, the child is less likely to remember the event. This method is called repetitive style. Try to avoid asking only these questions (though you can ask them in addition to elaborative style questions) and try not to repeat the same question if the child doesn’t respond. Maybe try rephrasing the question.

Here are examples of repetitive style questions:

• “Did we ride a boat?"
• "Was it fun?"
• "Do you want to go again?”

   Why Are Childhood Memories Important?

• The memories we remember from our childhood can affect our self-identity, the choices we make, and how we interact with others.

Self-Identity

The experiences we have as children can shape our identity. For example, hurricane survivors might think back on their experience and gain confidence that because they survived that tough experience, they can face other challenges that may come their way.

Making Decisions

Our childhood memories can also help guide our behavior and help us make smarter, safer decisions. For example, if you leave the water running and the bathtub overflows, you’ll likely think of that memory when you fill the bathtub again. And chances are, you won’t let it overflow again.

Building Relationships

When we want to strengthen relationships with others or form new ones, we might tap into our childhood memories more than we realize. For example, if you enjoyed cooking with loved ones and felt close to them, you might recall that memory and invite your child to cook with you so you can strengthen your relationship with them.Memories matter. They lead us to create our identities, make thoughtful decisions, and build lasting relationships. Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher of the past, once said, “Childhood is like contemplating a beautiful region as one rides backwards, one really becomes aware of the beauty at that moment, that very instant, when it begins to vanish.”

The more time we take to reminisce, recollect, and share our memories, the more likely those memories are to stay with us and help us grow.